I guess I don’t have enough field experience.
Kind of hard to get field experience when no one is willing to give it to you, though.
For a while, the thought that I chose the wrong course of study and wrong field to go into has been gnawing at me. This latest disappointment is, I realise, a clear sign that I need to change direction. For whatever reason, this isn’t what I’m meant to do.
Now, the hard part is figuring out what I am meant to do. I’ve invested a third of my life into one dream (yes, I was a crazy-driven teenager), and now, having reached the end of that dream, I’m at a loss for ideas.
Maybe I don’t need to change fields. Maybe I do. I just accepted an administrative job and I’m stuck here at least another few months. That will give me some time to figure it out.